Weekly leave digest 01

I am fighting to get my FMLA paperwork from my provider's office. My best friend describes this perfectly as the direction of your life in the near future depending entirely on people for whom this is just another Monday, ugh, am I right? I take myself out in the world to try to chill my body out and it backfires, as it often does. I go to Coava on Grand, wash my car, buy Meditations for Mortals at Powell's on Hawthorne, and grab lunch at NO NAME PHO. My heart rate is averaging like 160 while sitting perfectly still in a coffee shop. I finally get the FMLA paperwork while waiting for my pho, and the relief is palpable. I still go home and cry with guilt and can barely eat because of the anxiety. I call my dad and he tells me he's proud of me for taking care of myself.

I gather up all of my positive feedback from work like a weird little squirrel who loves praise, and then email it to myself so i can use it to psych myself back up come October. Then I closed the work laptop and put it in a drawer, and sat down at the kitchen table to journal and plan my leave. I started culling books and records to dispel some anxious energy.

I stopped at Push X Pull, and then Next Adventure looking for a pop up beach tent. Somehow, the place for a pop up tent was Grocery Outlet? So I grabbed one, along with snacks and drinks, and head to Columbia Farms to pick up some blueberries, and then sit on the beach. I floated around but it was windy and I kept going downriver and away from my dumb little tent. On the way home, I stopped at Music Millenium (looking for a record I'm not going to find IRL) and got a slice from Baby Doll.

I woke up and went to Jackpot, still looking for the Four Tet record. I tried a new coffee shop next door called Golden Hour and had the best iced rosemary lavender latte. Then I went to Leach Botanical Garden for the first time with my friend Becky. It was gorgeous, wow. I made some dark sweet cherry brownies.

I went to Audrey McCall beach with my friend Emily, and it was hot! Had a slower day, organizing and cleaning, watched both Howl's Moving Castle and Kiki's Delivery Service.

I went to my friend's yard sale and bought some free weights and also caught up with the people I see mostly at this friend's yard sale! I traded in all of my neglected records and Jackpot and replaced them with only things I love now, and then went home and listened to them.

I watched My Neighbor Totoro, continued deep cleaning, and then left my goblin state to go pick up a ton of ice cream and prescriptions.